Friday, March 19, 2010

a time to seek.

I got back from a mission trip to Edinburg Texas on Friday and have spent the last few days gathering my thoughts on paper that I might more accurately relay some of the truths to the people who would ask me about them. Any who, here's a good chunk of the things that i learned on the trip.

Part I being vulnerable.

 somewhere deep down all of us have the things that are far beyond " i lied to my mom when i was 7 " i mean the things we really struggle with lust, peer pressure, masturbation, addiction, suicidal thoughts, anger, eating disorders and the list goes on. These things are taboo in the church today. why. because the devil has kept it within us under lock and key otherwise known as shame. i say no more.  be vulnerable with yourself and with others. the deepest darkest points of your life that you are legitimately afraid of telling others. tell them. heres the cool part about it, that sin inside you represents darkness, it is darkness, and by letting it out ,which is biblical by the way ( James 5:16 ), you put that darkness in the light you put it before God. and God is light and in him is NO darkness at all ( 1 John 1:5). so basic idear of all that is this..  you have issues. admit it to yourself. admit it to others. admit it to God. and then let him do what he does so well. forgive. and be free. No more will the devil hold us with the crippling weight of shame.

Part II  mediocrity

as people in my town slowly move away from their faith, a lot of them tell me that i am too legalistic, to conservative, too blah blah blah. one quick word to that, i dance like a fool at worship, i believe that smoking a cigar can be done in a healthy manner, i believe in the physical HEALING power of Jesus Christ. not a whole lot about me shouts conservative. but i digress. can we leave legalism behind for this one.... this is'nt about "do this and don't do this" and you'll be a better christian.this is about just HOW MUCH you love him. this one goes out to who i used to be and where alot of you christians find yourself today. mediocre at best. how is it that we can watch a man and woman undress, or listen to a rapper talk about a woman in such a way that can only be described as pornographic, or follow every single phrase with "thats what she said", or read a magizine like cosmo or mens health and then say.... "it does'nt affect me"  you are truly deceived. we are humans. we have emotions. we are GEARED to be AFFECTED. Matthew 4 : 18- 22 Jesus shows up and sees peter and andrew on a boat fishing and says " follow me and ill make you fishers of men"  they leave everything and follow him. He keeps rollin down the river and sees James and John fishing with they're father and some hired hands Jesus says the same to them and they ditch the boat they're father and the hands and follow him. if you come to meet Jesus in the radical way that he wants to meet you, there comes a point where you leave it all to follow him. there comes a point where the things in your life that are "not that bad" become "not good enough"  music. clothes. the way you talk. the way you act. movies. books. the things you look at on the internet. how you spend your money. so this is what i'll say to the brothers and sisters that would like to know why i don't want to go to the club, why i don't want to watch that movie with you, why i don't want to just "watch T.V."... my time on earth is too short, the breaths in my lungs are too few for me to waste them doing things that arent bringing me closer to the Kingdom.

Part III sharing the gospel & loving people

 this trip radically altered the way that i viewed sharing the gospel of Jesus wherever you are. the first two outreaches i didn't see a whole lot happen and so i was down thinking " i must be a pretty ineffective christian" and then Jesus gave me an identity on the third night (which I'll talk about later) but basically coming to the realization it does not matter if the person is a christian if they aren't if they come to know Jesus or if they slap you in the face. all that matters is that you SHARE the gospel he said " go and make disciples" not "go convert" so from that day forward i've been wild. i love it i love listening to where God wants me to go and then just going and starting an awkward conversation. its great because if you know me a little, you know that i enjoy making people awkward, and Jesus says we can do it forever to further advance his Kingdom! Hallelujah! also on sharing your faith know that the GOSPEL IS ENOUGH it is all you need, your testimony is a great tool and all but it is not what tells people the true depth of His love. i tell you this because i have struggled with telling people more about me than Jesus and that is probably the reason they didn't want anything to do with him.

Part IV encouragement

the amount that i got during the week i was in Edinburg has forced me to talk about it, guys... girls whoever you are if you hate everything i am talking about please just tune into this.  i beg you. Encouragement has changed who i am. forever. i would like those of you who have ever been in a youth group before to look into the past with me for a second, maybe you will remember something called an affirmation circle, or an encouragement stick, or encouragement circle whatever the motif was the same, it was a specific time designated to tell people that you appreciate just why it is that you appreciate them.... if your one of the people that have done this take a minute to think about how it made you feel when someone piped up and said your name followed by an encouragement......  pretty stinking good right, thats because it builds your spirit up in confidence, it edifys you in your heart ( another one of those biblical ideas ) if people tell you all your life " your dirt, your stupid, your ugly, your annoying, your too loud, your fat, your too ______" they tell you these things enough and we start to act like it.. because again we are human and are geared to feel. but rather if they tell you " your the righteousness of God, Jesus thinks your so beautiful that he died and rose again just to get your attention that you might come to know him" people fill you up with stuff like this and you start acting like it and it starts to make you feel worthy and you start to want to do it for others so we just become these big vessels of encouragement. constantly edifying ourselves against the devils lies and exhorting each other letting them know just HOW much they are loved.  when we drop this joke of sarcasm and start treating each other like Christ told us to we start to look more like the church rather that a church.

Part V spiritual gifts

these are my beliefs. i will speak them unapologetically. if you disagree so be it. my studies and interactions with the spirit have brought me to these truths.

spiritual gifts are real, they are biblical, and they are NEEDED to edify ourselves and the church. in a lot of cases they are used to show people even Christians ( like myself) just how real the father, the son, and the holy spirit  really are. 1 Corinthians 12 and 14 talk specifically on this subject, when Paul is rebuking the church at Corinth for taking everything too far. nonetheless no where is it said that they aren't real. or that they have faded since Pentecost or that they have ceased completely. i saw them exercised ( in a healthy manner ) i saw people healed, i was healed, in two different areas. people came to me during worship telling me things about my life that ONLY God knew.  i heard people speaking in tongues in such a way that glorified God.  i didn't understand it but so what if you don't understand it? have we as Christians already forgotten that our God is one who grants a peace that transcends ALL understanding (Phil. 4:7) too often do i hear people say that they just don't practice them because all they have ever seen are people misuse them for they're own glory. SO WHAT! The crusades took sharing the gospel and ran with it in the totally wrong direction but that doesn't make sharing the gospel wrong why then should someone prophesying only to glorify themselves make prophesying wrong if prophecy is a gift from God. if someone in the church is being a stumbling block to others do we not already know how to handle it 1 Tim. ch.2. how long O Christians are you going to hear the Lord and rationalize him away saying " that sounds like me" or " that's ridiculous the Lord would not say that" All this being said i urge you, seek out your spiritual gift, ask the father what it is and he will tell you.        " My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me." John 10 :27 ; "For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened." Luke 11:10 even further than that, once you know what your gift is, know that it is not a measure of your walk with God, nor does your gift set you aside or above the body but rather it actively includes you in the body. Until you know and employ your gift, you are not serving God to your full potential.


my identity.


for the longest time i bought the lie that i did not hear from God also that my identity lay in the outdoors, this is when he came along spoke to me in bulk in the same ways that he did with Isaiah. and throughout the week i was affirmed over and over things like " dude you hear from God." or  " you see things from the Lord" i would say "thank you" not really thinking about it because deep down i didn't believe it, then this girl spoke with me and told me " your a prophet, you totally hear from God." that irked me a little. enough so that i brought it before God the next day and he showed up showed me visions and spoke affirmation of the gift he has given me. but again i digress my identity is something that i have struggled with for the last year or so, i just wanted to know that i was more than a rafting guide that i was more than someone who loved the outdoors, that i was a son of God. and he spoke it to me. He took the place that i was most insecure in ( not hearing God) and turned it into my most powerful weapon in the advance of the Kingdom ( prophesy) . So with all that being said this is the identity he has given me.. I walk with the authority of Jesus Christ in me, i am a brave courageous, tender, passionate, ambassador bound in chains to our Lord Jesus Christ. Until now i have drug his name through the mud as "Matt gill", but i am a new creation in Jesus my flesh was crucified on the cross and i have decided to take the reputation that was given to me by my parents as Matthew Gill (which means son of God)  i understand the struggles some of you will face with believing that i truly am new because you live in the same town as me (matt. 13:53)  but i implore of you my name is Matthew for i will consider those who call me by this name to truly know who i am. 


special thanks

ben hayden- dude you are a fireball. thank you for being my encouragement secreter your a blessing from the Lord bro

Jeff Smith- you showed me the power of silence i don't know what it was about this dude but you hit me hard in a exodus 14 :14 kind of way. 

Luke B- phenomenal roomate, even better man of God. the Lord is going to use you in such a big way to advance the Kingdom. take up your armor and prepare for war my brother.


Steve H.- this guy is the one that lit a fire under my tushy for sharing the gospel just got in a guys face about Jesus and didnt even break the ice you are a bettering ram for Jesus used to knock down walls that we as humans think stand between us and eternity!


Eric w.- you let the spirit move however he wants to. i wish there were more men like you here. we would definatley be friends.


A.J. griff- i have never learned more about encouraging others like i have from you. don't change one bit unless its from glory to glory.  your mouth opens and a double edged sword comes forth with which you terrorize the enemy!


Chris Lane- whoa brah i can't even describe how our relationship lit aflame so quickly it is simply the beauty of the cross at work in both of us but you keep doing what you do and know that if anyone ever steps on your acting i will immediately be there with fierce words of jealous protecting love for my brother!


Andrew and Josh Owen- you two wreck shop for the Kingdom! you make me wish that i hadnt wasted all my youth making a "powerful testimony" for myself, never let go of the fire that is in your heart!


Ashley Summers- you challenged me in a way that i can not thank you enough for i can not stop listening to God. it is great, i will never forget one of the nicest most intentional women of God i have ever spoken to on a bus.


Courtney B.- your open heart was something that people including myself could not turn away from. never lose it it is a gift straight from Jesus. you were so welcoming and hospitable and i thank you for that, good luck on your internship interview i am praying for you dilligently and btw thanks for the extremely powerful word yesterday i receive that with GLADNESS


Emily J- your joy is never fleeting. and it warms the heart in a way that only the power of jesus can. keep it up !


Kiley- man or woman i have never met a person that is so true, so in a place that is ready to be molded in Christs image, or so very intentional with every person even if it means giving up your time you shall dance your way into life eternal with the Father in a secret place.


Luke Whyte- dude i feel like i have known you for years but in reality its been like 2 days. but whatever it is in your heart it draws ppl to Him, i can not wait to see how jesus transforms us into warriors for him this summer... get ready Colorado.


Michelle- man i am going to miss you jelly. your radiance that comes from being before the Lord is like being home when moms makin peach cobbler and ice cream. continue to let him be the most important relationship you have.


Rocky- brother ur like my older brother i give you the biggest hugs because you make me want to cry with tears of joy with how much you mean to me. i can't wait to see where the Lord takes you.


Mama Rae Rae- i have never seen someone with a bigger heart for seeing people come to know Jesus than you. i truly see the jealous heart of the Father in you. 


Rhema- voice of authority meets voice of a daughter of God equals the amazing heart that belongs to you rhema.


Tamanda- you KNOW i am a tender guy, and you STILL gave me that encouragement card in the middle of public and so it took my whole strength not to ball in the resteraunt. regardless, i can't wait to see what Christ does in your life with these passions he has given you. your a firehouse of encouragement.


Steven- i have never met a man that has meant more to me than you. we have been connected for years and now we are finally seeing that it is you and I with the power of Jesus Christ that will Ravage this world for the glory of the kingdom. He has set our paths side by side and i would never choose any other person for this. we will bash bro the enemy as a tag team for the rest of our lives. may the grace of our lord Jesus Christ overcome you today and every day for the rest of your days.


a few photos.


























^ griff. i love you







typical kiley action.
















... what's that Lord did you say climb up the riccity ladder and get on the roof. ok.

















Benhameen vs. Mattahue














um.
















sacky hack.












for .37 seconds i thought she was going to beat me.















sometimes tamanda offers me silverware after telling a joke while i am eating ice cream.








Matthew Gill

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