Friday, March 19, 2010

a time to seek.

I got back from a mission trip to Edinburg Texas on Friday and have spent the last few days gathering my thoughts on paper that I might more accurately relay some of the truths to the people who would ask me about them. Any who, here's a good chunk of the things that i learned on the trip.

Part I being vulnerable.

 somewhere deep down all of us have the things that are far beyond " i lied to my mom when i was 7 " i mean the things we really struggle with lust, peer pressure, masturbation, addiction, suicidal thoughts, anger, eating disorders and the list goes on. These things are taboo in the church today. why. because the devil has kept it within us under lock and key otherwise known as shame. i say no more.  be vulnerable with yourself and with others. the deepest darkest points of your life that you are legitimately afraid of telling others. tell them. heres the cool part about it, that sin inside you represents darkness, it is darkness, and by letting it out ,which is biblical by the way ( James 5:16 ), you put that darkness in the light you put it before God. and God is light and in him is NO darkness at all ( 1 John 1:5). so basic idear of all that is this..  you have issues. admit it to yourself. admit it to others. admit it to God. and then let him do what he does so well. forgive. and be free. No more will the devil hold us with the crippling weight of shame.

Part II  mediocrity

as people in my town slowly move away from their faith, a lot of them tell me that i am too legalistic, to conservative, too blah blah blah. one quick word to that, i dance like a fool at worship, i believe that smoking a cigar can be done in a healthy manner, i believe in the physical HEALING power of Jesus Christ. not a whole lot about me shouts conservative. but i digress. can we leave legalism behind for this one.... this is'nt about "do this and don't do this" and you'll be a better christian.this is about just HOW MUCH you love him. this one goes out to who i used to be and where alot of you christians find yourself today. mediocre at best. how is it that we can watch a man and woman undress, or listen to a rapper talk about a woman in such a way that can only be described as pornographic, or follow every single phrase with "thats what she said", or read a magizine like cosmo or mens health and then say.... "it does'nt affect me"  you are truly deceived. we are humans. we have emotions. we are GEARED to be AFFECTED. Matthew 4 : 18- 22 Jesus shows up and sees peter and andrew on a boat fishing and says " follow me and ill make you fishers of men"  they leave everything and follow him. He keeps rollin down the river and sees James and John fishing with they're father and some hired hands Jesus says the same to them and they ditch the boat they're father and the hands and follow him. if you come to meet Jesus in the radical way that he wants to meet you, there comes a point where you leave it all to follow him. there comes a point where the things in your life that are "not that bad" become "not good enough"  music. clothes. the way you talk. the way you act. movies. books. the things you look at on the internet. how you spend your money. so this is what i'll say to the brothers and sisters that would like to know why i don't want to go to the club, why i don't want to watch that movie with you, why i don't want to just "watch T.V."... my time on earth is too short, the breaths in my lungs are too few for me to waste them doing things that arent bringing me closer to the Kingdom.

Part III sharing the gospel & loving people

 this trip radically altered the way that i viewed sharing the gospel of Jesus wherever you are. the first two outreaches i didn't see a whole lot happen and so i was down thinking " i must be a pretty ineffective christian" and then Jesus gave me an identity on the third night (which I'll talk about later) but basically coming to the realization it does not matter if the person is a christian if they aren't if they come to know Jesus or if they slap you in the face. all that matters is that you SHARE the gospel he said " go and make disciples" not "go convert" so from that day forward i've been wild. i love it i love listening to where God wants me to go and then just going and starting an awkward conversation. its great because if you know me a little, you know that i enjoy making people awkward, and Jesus says we can do it forever to further advance his Kingdom! Hallelujah! also on sharing your faith know that the GOSPEL IS ENOUGH it is all you need, your testimony is a great tool and all but it is not what tells people the true depth of His love. i tell you this because i have struggled with telling people more about me than Jesus and that is probably the reason they didn't want anything to do with him.

Part IV encouragement

the amount that i got during the week i was in Edinburg has forced me to talk about it, guys... girls whoever you are if you hate everything i am talking about please just tune into this.  i beg you. Encouragement has changed who i am. forever. i would like those of you who have ever been in a youth group before to look into the past with me for a second, maybe you will remember something called an affirmation circle, or an encouragement stick, or encouragement circle whatever the motif was the same, it was a specific time designated to tell people that you appreciate just why it is that you appreciate them.... if your one of the people that have done this take a minute to think about how it made you feel when someone piped up and said your name followed by an encouragement......  pretty stinking good right, thats because it builds your spirit up in confidence, it edifys you in your heart ( another one of those biblical ideas ) if people tell you all your life " your dirt, your stupid, your ugly, your annoying, your too loud, your fat, your too ______" they tell you these things enough and we start to act like it.. because again we are human and are geared to feel. but rather if they tell you " your the righteousness of God, Jesus thinks your so beautiful that he died and rose again just to get your attention that you might come to know him" people fill you up with stuff like this and you start acting like it and it starts to make you feel worthy and you start to want to do it for others so we just become these big vessels of encouragement. constantly edifying ourselves against the devils lies and exhorting each other letting them know just HOW much they are loved.  when we drop this joke of sarcasm and start treating each other like Christ told us to we start to look more like the church rather that a church.

Part V spiritual gifts

these are my beliefs. i will speak them unapologetically. if you disagree so be it. my studies and interactions with the spirit have brought me to these truths.

spiritual gifts are real, they are biblical, and they are NEEDED to edify ourselves and the church. in a lot of cases they are used to show people even Christians ( like myself) just how real the father, the son, and the holy spirit  really are. 1 Corinthians 12 and 14 talk specifically on this subject, when Paul is rebuking the church at Corinth for taking everything too far. nonetheless no where is it said that they aren't real. or that they have faded since Pentecost or that they have ceased completely. i saw them exercised ( in a healthy manner ) i saw people healed, i was healed, in two different areas. people came to me during worship telling me things about my life that ONLY God knew.  i heard people speaking in tongues in such a way that glorified God.  i didn't understand it but so what if you don't understand it? have we as Christians already forgotten that our God is one who grants a peace that transcends ALL understanding (Phil. 4:7) too often do i hear people say that they just don't practice them because all they have ever seen are people misuse them for they're own glory. SO WHAT! The crusades took sharing the gospel and ran with it in the totally wrong direction but that doesn't make sharing the gospel wrong why then should someone prophesying only to glorify themselves make prophesying wrong if prophecy is a gift from God. if someone in the church is being a stumbling block to others do we not already know how to handle it 1 Tim. ch.2. how long O Christians are you going to hear the Lord and rationalize him away saying " that sounds like me" or " that's ridiculous the Lord would not say that" All this being said i urge you, seek out your spiritual gift, ask the father what it is and he will tell you.        " My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me." John 10 :27 ; "For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened." Luke 11:10 even further than that, once you know what your gift is, know that it is not a measure of your walk with God, nor does your gift set you aside or above the body but rather it actively includes you in the body. Until you know and employ your gift, you are not serving God to your full potential.

my identity.

for the longest time i bought the lie that i did not hear from God also that my identity lay in the outdoors, this is when he came along spoke to me in bulk in the same ways that he did with Isaiah. and throughout the week i was affirmed over and over things like " dude you hear from God." or  " you see things from the Lord" i would say "thank you" not really thinking about it because deep down i didn't believe it, then this girl spoke with me and told me " your a prophet, you totally hear from God." that irked me a little. enough so that i brought it before God the next day and he showed up showed me visions and spoke affirmation of the gift he has given me. but again i digress my identity is something that i have struggled with for the last year or so, i just wanted to know that i was more than a rafting guide that i was more than someone who loved the outdoors, that i was a son of God. and he spoke it to me. He took the place that i was most insecure in ( not hearing God) and turned it into my most powerful weapon in the advance of the Kingdom ( prophesy) . So with all that being said this is the identity he has given me.. I walk with the authority of Jesus Christ in me, i am a brave courageous, tender, passionate, ambassador bound in chains to our Lord Jesus Christ. Until now i have drug his name through the mud as "Matt gill", but i am a new creation in Jesus my flesh was crucified on the cross and i have decided to take the reputation that was given to me by my parents as Matthew Gill (which means son of God)  i understand the struggles some of you will face with believing that i truly am new because you live in the same town as me (matt. 13:53)  but i implore of you my name is Matthew for i will consider those who call me by this name to truly know who i am. 

special thanks

ben hayden- dude you are a fireball. thank you for being my encouragement secreter your a blessing from the Lord bro

Jeff Smith- you showed me the power of silence i don't know what it was about this dude but you hit me hard in a exodus 14 :14 kind of way. 

Luke B- phenomenal roomate, even better man of God. the Lord is going to use you in such a big way to advance the Kingdom. take up your armor and prepare for war my brother.

Steve H.- this guy is the one that lit a fire under my tushy for sharing the gospel just got in a guys face about Jesus and didnt even break the ice you are a bettering ram for Jesus used to knock down walls that we as humans think stand between us and eternity!

Eric w.- you let the spirit move however he wants to. i wish there were more men like you here. we would definatley be friends.

A.J. griff- i have never learned more about encouraging others like i have from you. don't change one bit unless its from glory to glory.  your mouth opens and a double edged sword comes forth with which you terrorize the enemy!

Chris Lane- whoa brah i can't even describe how our relationship lit aflame so quickly it is simply the beauty of the cross at work in both of us but you keep doing what you do and know that if anyone ever steps on your acting i will immediately be there with fierce words of jealous protecting love for my brother!

Andrew and Josh Owen- you two wreck shop for the Kingdom! you make me wish that i hadnt wasted all my youth making a "powerful testimony" for myself, never let go of the fire that is in your heart!

Ashley Summers- you challenged me in a way that i can not thank you enough for i can not stop listening to God. it is great, i will never forget one of the nicest most intentional women of God i have ever spoken to on a bus.

Courtney B.- your open heart was something that people including myself could not turn away from. never lose it it is a gift straight from Jesus. you were so welcoming and hospitable and i thank you for that, good luck on your internship interview i am praying for you dilligently and btw thanks for the extremely powerful word yesterday i receive that with GLADNESS

Emily J- your joy is never fleeting. and it warms the heart in a way that only the power of jesus can. keep it up !

Kiley- man or woman i have never met a person that is so true, so in a place that is ready to be molded in Christs image, or so very intentional with every person even if it means giving up your time you shall dance your way into life eternal with the Father in a secret place.

Luke Whyte- dude i feel like i have known you for years but in reality its been like 2 days. but whatever it is in your heart it draws ppl to Him, i can not wait to see how jesus transforms us into warriors for him this summer... get ready Colorado.

Michelle- man i am going to miss you jelly. your radiance that comes from being before the Lord is like being home when moms makin peach cobbler and ice cream. continue to let him be the most important relationship you have.

Rocky- brother ur like my older brother i give you the biggest hugs because you make me want to cry with tears of joy with how much you mean to me. i can't wait to see where the Lord takes you.

Mama Rae Rae- i have never seen someone with a bigger heart for seeing people come to know Jesus than you. i truly see the jealous heart of the Father in you. 

Rhema- voice of authority meets voice of a daughter of God equals the amazing heart that belongs to you rhema.

Tamanda- you KNOW i am a tender guy, and you STILL gave me that encouragement card in the middle of public and so it took my whole strength not to ball in the resteraunt. regardless, i can't wait to see what Christ does in your life with these passions he has given you. your a firehouse of encouragement.

Steven- i have never met a man that has meant more to me than you. we have been connected for years and now we are finally seeing that it is you and I with the power of Jesus Christ that will Ravage this world for the glory of the kingdom. He has set our paths side by side and i would never choose any other person for this. we will bash bro the enemy as a tag team for the rest of our lives. may the grace of our lord Jesus Christ overcome you today and every day for the rest of your days.

a few photos.

^ griff. i love you

typical kiley action.

... what's that Lord did you say climb up the riccity ladder and get on the roof. ok.

Benhameen vs. Mattahue


sacky hack.

for .37 seconds i thought she was going to beat me.

sometimes tamanda offers me silverware after telling a joke while i am eating ice cream.

Matthew Gill

Sunday, February 21, 2010


This post is for the people  invited to go on the camping retreat. i chose to just make a post about it because i am not mentally advanced enough to comprehend the never ending updates to facebook's set up so i chose the K.I.S.S. format, Keep It Simple Stupid!

What: T.V. barbecue/ camp out/ star watching/ serious Jesus time and fellowship/ games/ good food (hopefully, we'll get to that)/ night of mayhem His name of course.

Where: we will meet at southcrest baptist church parking lot at 4;30 to carpool and whatnot to my familys' ranch. 30 miles south of town

When: March 26-27 4:30 friday till we get back Saturday

Ok. got the W's covered now lets get down to the NITTY GRITTY....
What to Bring: 
-a bible should be all ya need.... but for those of you that over achieve
-tent (if you have one) (we need as many as we can get)
-sleeping bag 
-pillow if you want
-pants, jacket, warm clothes and 1 change of clothes ( for the next day)
-shotgun and 1 bullet for said shotgun

 i will just be getting back from a mission trip so i  will have no dinero to buy food for everyone unless my parents step in, if they don't then i need you guys to help out here and just pray for the Lord to alot us enough money to buy sandwiches for two meals and smores necessities for about 20 people (tentitavely) !

the food items we will need are as follows
-chips preferably the Lords cheeps (for the nacho fans)
-water bottles
-graham crackers
-hersheys chocolate

if you have navigated your way to and fro this page and you are coming then i need you to text the number on the top with the following info....
  • your name
  • is it just you coming or do you have a friend coming as well if so how many
  • **what food you will be bringing
  •  any questions you might have

** required field

if you werent invited yet just text me and pretend all this has to do with you the more the merrier

be praying for Gods love to reign down on this campout some of us are really going to need it! 
p.s. this post reminded me i havent posted in a loooonnggg time. ill get to that God has done alot recently.

for his name.

Sunday, November 22, 2009


un.    i'm sorry

as i continuously examine my heart, i find inadequacies, one on top of the other.  and i would like to take the first part of this to let you know that if anyone may think that i have it together throw these thoughts out the door, i am the foremost of sinners however through Jesus' blood i am forgiven. not better than you, simply better than i was.

And Jesus answered them, "Have faith in God. Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be taken up and thrown into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And whenever you stand praying, forgive if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses." Mark 11:22-25

the last part of that verse is why i am starting off with this apology, i never thought myself to be one who held grudges against others. i do. we all do. i do have things against others, i forgive you from the bottom of my heart i forgive you. to the same end i implore for forgiveness for the wrongs i have dealt.

 deux.   Rockstar.

when i think of jesus the man on earth, i think of a young buff rugged guy that changed the world with love. I also attribute much of his persona to that of a rockstar, and the status that parallels it. i know a few people that to a certain extent have multiple characteristics that match up to this status in regards to the "stage" they are given whether it be athletics, church leadership, music or simply a charisma that draws the masses. unfortunately when i think of these people i think of a show, i feel like they are fake, like they are so afraid of the stage they are on that they pretend to be someone else so that they can pass the responsibility of being an example to others off on some imaginary personality that isn't him/her. i also feel as though these people have trouble being intimate and intentional with everyone, and not simply picking and choosing so that their stage stats don't plummet. back to Jesus, it's not that difficult for me to cope with the fact that he dealt with the same struggles  such as this inability to "be real" with all the people in his life, but rather i have outrageous difficulties understanding that he attained victory over this.the difference between these modern-day rockstars and Jesus is that he was real with everyone, he never hid who he was for fear of rejection, he didn't apologize to the people that didn't agree with him but rather held even closer to the trues that were given to him via the father, and the one that hit closest to home for me (because this is me) the people that came to him broken simply seeking a friend someone to care for them someone to desire good for you to actually want to spend time in fellowship with you. he had a gimonganourous stage, how easy to be conceited, but rather he humbled himself to death even death on a cross. he wants to see you. to love you. to talk. to listen. to hold. to protect. that's my Jesus, the rockstar.

trois. temple.

a song by leeland

Father, enter this temple
Come touch Your people
We need to be where You are
And children living as their Father
Washed in pure water
We need to be like You are

may we treat our bodies as temples may you enter our temple so pain, inadequacy, shame, embarrassment, and sin shall not be allowed in.
touch us Lord we are weak the more we are left on our own the more we see this fact that he must become greater and greater and we must become LESS AND LESS till we are nothing to the end that all is seen in us is your son.

quatre. monster.

 i haven't lost myself in a long time.
i never tried to care when i wanted to. i just want to be a part of something.
i just want to be real like you.
sometimes i feel like a monster
and times i feel like a saint.
i'm on my knees your my favorite disease.

closer. closer. closer to you.
i need to be closer have closure get closer to you.
every step i take.
i love the way you kill me.
i love the way you heal me.

the first time i have ever looked at a viral infection as a good thing, don't get antsy i am not saying Jesus is like a disease rather that he mirrors a few of the ways that a virus makes it's way to whoever it wants without restraint, and for encouragement, if you have been for lack of another term, "infected" embrace it and know that there is not a cure you are stuck with him and for the first time ever i shall campaign the idea that we should spread disease. that is who my jesus is he is unstoppable, un"cure"able, unfathomable, inexhaustable. he is my favorite disease.

cinq. unstained.

"Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction and to keep oneself unstained from the world" James 1:27

the word doesn't say that it is our job to save orphans to better prepare them for a life of success, or to find the widow a husband that can support her out of the hole that she is in or  even to change their lives, it says to VISIT THEM in their time of affliction. there is no time where their affliction cries out louder than right now.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

just thought you guys would enjoy this, love ya kaylan=)

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Friday, September 11, 2009

it's like a mother puma giving birth in my mouth

Lately I have been struggling with fighting off the same sin I dealt with before I left for the summer. It seemed like at every turn it was waiting for me to pull me down. I was in a very dark place. God is in the business of surprising us in the most unexpected of ways. I have been to multiple josh Wilson concerts before, nothing new, don’t get me wrong the kid is a phenomenal musician I simply was not prepared for what lay ahead for me. Josh’ concert was great, everything he played was wonderful, even more though he told us a story about guy named toni and his son named jaiken. Then toni came up and told us his story. His son was in his mother without a properly working heart or lungs or kidney and the doctors told him that his son had a 2% chance of living, he prayed the big prayer that his son would make it perfectly. God showed. Jaiken is now 7 years old. Don’t put God in a box read the bible sometime, if he can take down 1,000 guys using an Israelite with a donkey jawbone, if he can give a man speed faster than a chariot, if he can convince slaves to Egyptians with a pretty good setup to leave and follow one stuttering non articulate uncharismatic man into a desert and bring them into the promised land, if he can raise his son from death, if he is who He says he is, then he is more mighty than anything this world has to offer against us. I won’t put my God in a box of human limitations; I will set him free to rule my life and to fight for me against the world as my warrior, my majestic king, and my perfect father.

The short stuff.

-Ashley divorced phil. Therefore admitting that she dated, liked, and married phil.

-“it’s so hot, it’s like a mother puma giving birth in my mouth”

-josh Wilsons new cd kicks booty

-kaylan brownlee loves a turtle

-wesley foundation melts my face with worship

-I’m learning a new trade

-I’ll blog about that later

-I miss lawty

-garrett gregory is silly good at ping pong

-baron batch is not

-I still love b though

-I’m thinking about going to Nicaragua

-I shaved every other toe on my foot of hair with a finishing touch

-I had a dream last night about painting my fingernails being forced to make out with some girl from high school who I can’t remember

-that holds no weight Sabrina

-I also shaved two patches on my left leg with the same finishing touch

-I haven’t had Tokyo in a week

-I’m upset about that

-picking your scabs is healthier for you than letting them “heal on their own”

-I don’t expect anyone to read this

-I’ll still write it though

-pranks are funny

-most of the time

-I’m hungry

-I’m going to leave now to go eat

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

each day is a gift.
carpe diem.